Warning: Labels
警示:此处有警示标签!

Warning labels are a product of a litigious society that drive prices up.

警示标签是全社会热衷诉讼的产物,它们抬高了商品价格。

When you use a coffeepot, do you need a warning label to tell you: “Do not hold over people”?

使用一只咖啡壶时,你是否觉得它有必要附上一个警示标签,告诉你“不要端到别人头上去”?

Must a bicycle bell be sold with the warning: “Should be installed and serviced by a professional mechanic”? Of course not. Yet that bell also carries the warning: “Failure to heed any of these warnings may result in serious injury or death.”

出售单车铃铛时,是否必须附带一个警示:“须由专业技工安装维修”?当然不会。可实际上,这只铃铛上不光有这条警示,还附带这样一条:“不听从上述警示可能会导致严重受伤或死亡。”

This is nuts. It’s a bell.

神经病。那不过是只铃铛!

The blizzard of warning labels means we often won’t read ones we should, like the Clorox label that warns, do not use bleach “with other product… hazardous gasses may result.” No kidding. Mixing bleach and ammonia creates gasses that can kill people.

警示标签狂轰滥炸的后果是,那些真正需要我们阅读的内容,我们倒经常不去读了。比如“高乐氏”的标签上说,不要将漂白剂“和其他产品”混用,“以免产生危险气体”。这不是开玩笑。漂白剂和氨混合会产生能够致命的气体。

But I rarely bother to read warning labels anymore, because manufacturers put them on everything.

但我现在很少阅读任何警示标签了,因为制造商已经在任何东西上面贴满了标签。

A utility knife bears the warning: “Blades are sharp.”

比如,工具刀被贴的标签是,“刀刃锋利”。

I know about such dumb labels because Bob Dorigo Jones, author of Remove Child Before Folding, asks his readers and radio listeners to send in ridiculous labels for his “Wacky Warning Label” contest.

我之所以知道这些愚蠢标签的故事,是因为《折叠童车前请抱出孩子》一书作者Bob Dorigo Jones向读者和广播听众征集荒唐标签,参加他搞的“最雷人警示标签”竞赛。

“We do this to point out how the rules that legislatures and Congress make favor litigation,” says Dorigo Jones. “We are the most litigious society on Earth. If the level of litigation in the United States was simply at the level of countries that we compete with for jobs in Asia and in Europe, we could save $589 billion a year.”

“我们这样做是想指出,立法机关和国会制定的法规会如何刺激诉讼,”Dorigo Jones说,“我们是全球最爱打官司的国家。只要美国的年诉讼量跟那些和我们争夺工作岗位的亚欧国家持平,我们每年就能节省5890亿美元。”

America has more silly warnings mainly because, unlike the rest of the world, we don’t have the “loser pays” rule in courts. That rule means that whoever wins a court battle is compensated by the loser. It creates an incentive not to bring frivolous cases.

美国的傻帽警示尤其多,主要是因为,与世界其他国家不同,我们的法院不实行“败诉者付费”这一规则,也就是说,不管谁赢了官司,都能得到败诉一方的补偿。它会鼓励人们不要为鸡毛蒜皮的事打官司。

In the U.S., the incentive is to try even dubious legal arguments and hope you’ll hit the jackpot. Or maybe your enemy will pay you to avoid the bigger cost of hiring lawyers to continue the fight.

而在美国鼓励的则是,就算法律论证把握不大也要尝试一下,并指望中个头奖。要不然就是,你的对手也许因为不想花更多钱雇律师跟你长期纠缠而给你一笔钱了事。

More lawsuits mean more frightened corporate lawyers smearing labels on everything, just in case “lack of warning” is an issue in a lawsuit.

官司越多,意味着公司的律师们愈发胆战心惊,给万事万物都贴上标签,以免“没有警示”成为诉讼的一个争论点。

That’s probably why a toy Star Wars lightsaber comes with the label, “Not to Be Used as a Battle Device.” Why would they bother to say that? Did someone sue, claiming they thought a lightsaber would do what it does in Star Wars movies? I don’t know. The company never responded to our questions.

这大概就是为何星战玩具光剑被贴上“不能用作战斗工具”标签的原因了。他们为什么自找麻烦说这些?是不是有人以为光剑玩具应该有电影《星球大战》里的效果,并(在期望落空后)起诉过他们呢?我不知道。我们问过他们,但该公司没有回应。

Some dumb labels are brought to us by dumb politicians. California requires warnings that something may be “toxic” or cause cancer on everything from foods to theme parks: “Disneyland Resort contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.” Gee thanks, California, but it would probably be better to warn kids about alligators over in Florida.

某些愚蠢标签是愚蠢政客导致的。加州要求从食品到主题乐园的所有东西都贴上标签,明确其是否“有毒”或是否致癌。比如,“加州政府了解,迪士尼乐园有导致癌症、出生缺陷或其他生殖系统损害的化学品,”。谢了,加州,如果佛罗里达能提醒孩子们小心鳄鱼,那也许更好。

Dorigo Jones offers a prize to whomever submits the wackiest label. The lightsaber label won this year, earning Susannah Peat of Carmel, Indiana, a thousand dollars. You can submit your choices to try to win next year’s prize.

Dorigo Jones设立了一个奖项征集最雷人标签。本年度获奖的就是光剑玩具上的标签,来自印第安纳州卡梅尔市的Susannah Peat获得了1000美元奖金。你可以提交你的选择,去竞争来年的奖励。

Please do. It’s important to make fun of lawyer-driven stupidity that distracts us from more important risks.

请务必提交噢。由律师们搞出来的这种蠢事让我们忽视了更为重大的风险,有必要嘲笑一下他们。

I suppose I shouldn’t really blame companies. They’ve been sued successfully so many times for not having labels that they feel they must try to protect themselves. Injuries aren’t the real danger here. Lawyers and politicians are.

我觉得我真不应该谴责这类公司。他们因为没贴标签已经被多次起诉成功,以至于认为必须自保。在这类问题上,伤害并非真正的危险,律师和政客才是。

When companies get sued, they end up charging higher prices to cover the cost of the lawyers. So those warning labels not only distract us but also are part of a process that makes us all poorer.

公司一旦被起诉,最终会通过抬高商品价格弥补雇佣律师的成本。所以,这类警示标签不但扰乱了我们的注意力,而且是造成我们变穷的部分原因。

I worry that they also make us stupider.

我担心它们还使我们变蠢。

Economists say that when people assume that government protects us from all possible harm, we acquire a false sense of security. We stop looking out for ourselves.

经济学家说,如果假定政府能保护我们免受任何可能的伤害,那么我们就会获得一种虚假的安全感,便不再自己小心留神。

Those warning labels give us the impression that the law has assessed every possible risk—if something were seriously dangerous, government wouldn’t allow it.

这类警示标签给我们一种印象,以为法律评估过所有可能的风险——如果某件事物很危险,政府不会放过它。

Lawyers and legislators’ insistence that most every action be bound by written rules makes many of us forget to use own own brains.

律师和立法者坚持要求几乎所有的事都必须受到成文规则的约束,这让许多人忘记了自己还会动脑子。

翻译:沈沉(@你在何地-sxy)
校对:明珠(@老茄爱天一爱亨亨更爱楚楚)
编辑:辉格@whigzhou

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